


if you're not baja blasting, you're not baja trying

by r0wlets



Series: cresty family baja blast au [1]
Category: Tales of Crestoria, Tales of Series
Genre: AU, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, crude language, the dumb cresty family au tag i'm using
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 12:22:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29874615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r0wlets/pseuds/r0wlets
Summary: Two men with unconventional relationship goals. What will they do for Valentine's Day?
Relationships: Aegis Alver/Vicious
Series: cresty family baja blast au [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2196459
Kudos: 5





	if you're not baja blasting, you're not baja trying

**Author's Note:**

> i got really side-tracked in the middle of this and then i gave up writing this romantically entirely as i wrote the rest of this to a two-part finale of masterchef. at least i got out of my writer's block tho dhklhkldhkldhkl

Vicious thought holidays were pointless. He only liked Halloween because he could steal candy and scare the shit out of cocky teenagers, and New Year’s was bearable because he could mooch some meals and booze off the generosity of strangers. 

But Valentine’s Day was naught much more than a chore. For one, the Great Transgressor didn’t really do  _ sweet  _ or  _ cuddly  _ or  _ romantic _ . Even if those feelings hadn’t been beaten out of him decades ago, they just weren’t in his nature. Vicious would rather just take a cold one out of the fridge, turn on the TV, and beat his meat to Jerry Springer in the middle of the night.

But this year he had a boyfriend. A  _ real _ boyfriend, not one of those one-night stands he’d picked up from the bar or the street or prison. And while Vicious wasn’t the touchy-feely type, he had to admit to himself that Aegis was in his life for the better. 

The only problem was, he had the sense that Aegis wasn’t much of the romantic type, either. 

He opened the fridge to see if, by some miracle, it was restocked. Because they were poor, it was not. He took out a can of beer and cracked it open, slurping up its contents. Mmm, crispy. There was plenty of time to figure out what to do for the night. The kids were off to some bogus school dance, and Yuna was smooching up Penelope on a cruise ship. Vicious was free to be as naked and depraved as he wanted, which he usually was, but now he didn’t have to make excuses for it. 

It wasn’t fun to be naked without spectators, though, so he merely tied an apron around his waist and began gathering ingredients for dinner - eggs, soy sauce, leftover pork, and several packs of instant Maruchan ramen. God may have labeled him as a criminal, but the devil sure did label him as a decent cook. Humming, he put a pan of water to boil while he prepped the dishware and utensils, and within minutes all of the ingredients were in the pan, ready to be eaten shortly.

By the time Aegis returned home from work, the Great Transgressor was sitting cross-legged at the table, shirtless, spinning a pair of chopsticks around his calloused fingers. He winked at his younger counterpart, eager to dig into his creation. “Hey, loverboy. I made a romantic meal to lighten up the mood.” 

Aegis would not be swayed that easily. He raised an eyebrow and took a seat opposite Vicious, breaking his own pair of chopsticks. “I thought we don’t usually do this sort of thing.”.

“I was hungry. Aren’t the eggs sexy?” 

“They’re….heart-shaped.” Aegis plucked his egg out of the bowl and held it close to inspect it. Perfectly sculpted into a heart, as expected from the Great Transgressor. Not one of those cutesy valentine’s hearts, though, but one closely resembling that of his actual, breathing organ. “I do have to admire your craftsmanship.” 

“Puts me right in the mood.”

“Oh, shut up.”

They were quiet for a while while they let the food talk for them. The clock ticked in the background while chopsticks scraped against bowls and slurping noises came from the men. Aegis’s usual sense of decorum from years in the military and living with two teenage kids who desperately needed role models had faded for the night as he let his hunger consume them. Vicious was a better cook than he let on. 

When they were finished, though, Aegis wasn’t sure what the rest of the night would entail. Like him, he didn’t think Vicious was much of a romantic type either. But unlike Aegis, he knew that his boyfriend was the chaotic type, and thus, with the Great Transgressor, anything was possible. 

So he was only slightly surprised when Vicious pulled out a couple of crumpled pieces of paper from his pants pocket and slid it across the table. Two tickets to a monster truck rally. Tonight. In an hour. He hated that that cocky grin of Vicious’s slightly turned him on. “How about it, loverboy?”

“You just remembered you had those, didn’t you?”

“Hey, you don’t date me for time management. If ya wanna change into something cozy, better do it in the next five minutes or I’ll leave you behind.” 

***

“You’re gonna get hot in that, you know. And what’s with those goofy glasses, nerd? No one’s gonna recognize you here.”

“I’ll take my chances.” 

Aegis pushed up his sunglasses. Yes, the white oversized hoodie he wore  _ was  _ a bit too warm for his comfort, but he’d never live it down in the miniscule chance someone from work  _ had  _ recognized him. Next to him, Vicious looked right at home with his ripped jeans and sleeveless vest, showing off his tattoo sleeves to the world. A mismatch made in hell. 

Tugging on Vicious’s vest, he looked away as if he were about to commit a felony. “You brought in the goods, right?”

“Yep. Got some beer in the backpack. You got the edibles?”

“Got them in my fanny pack. Which one of us is going to buy snacks?”

They looked at each other for a few seconds, neither of them wanting to budge. Then a flash, their hands were in swift combat as they made the familiar motions of rock, paper, scissors. After a few draws, Vicious squeaked out a victory with his massive fist, and Aegis cursed under his breath as he walked up towards the concessions stand, mentally telling them that, yes, their budget should be able to withstand a few hot dogs and rice balls. 

The noise in the arena was unbearable, deafening. While Aegis grew up poor, he didn’t grow up remote enough to enjoy the more....country pasttimes. A lot of the townspeople were into demolition derbies, and several of his co-workers had in the past unsuccessfully tried to get him to attend one, just one, for the thrill of it. 

Aegis was not a thrill-seeker. Yes, his boyfriend was an ex-yakuza mercenary constantly skirting between law and lawlessness, and yes, they housed two troubled teenagers that were formerly on the run for killing Kanata’s father, but he was still a sophisticated, reasonable man. For God’s sake, he went to  _ college _ . If anyone else would’ve invited him, he would’ve never come here.

He looked at his fanny pack with the single bunny sticker on it, courtesy of Kanata. Well, with edibles...anything was possible. 

The concession stand was possible, so while Aegis waited, he took a small piece of weed brownie and watched the rally from the huge plasma screens conveniently located. The announcer was overenthusiastic as he introduced a gray rectangular truck rolling into the main entrance. “Aaaand we have one of our oldest beauties joining us tonight, the Megasaurus! She’s a beauty operated by two people, father and daughter. This baby’s gonna eat good tonight!”

Across from the Megasaurus was a run-down truck. Aegis didn’t see the point of this; it looked like the old truck was maintained better than that gray thing on wheels. Then, he almost squeezed a hot dog straight out of its bun as a dinosaur head with a beak popped out from the top of the rectangle. The Megasaurus, in all its beauty, with flames painted across its face, breathed fire as it took the other vehicle right into its jaws and snapped it clean in half.

The hot dog slid to the floor. Aegis grabbed the rest of the food and hugged it to his chest as tears streamed down his cheek. This was perhaps the most artistic thing he had ever seen. It was brutal, primitive, but absolutely beautiful. Maybe the edible was hitting way too fast, but no wonder the locals had preserved demonstrations like this for generations. This was the circle of life in full force.

When he finally got back to their seats, Vicious practically jumped in the air, pointing at the usually composed Aegis crying, one hot dog bun firmly grasped into his hand. “Dude, what’s wrong, babe? That bun’s deprived of its optimal wiener.” 

“I...think I know what you mean by living on the edge now.”

“Dude, what?”

“Megasaurus…”

His shoulders tensed up as Vicious took the tray of food from one hand and the bun from the other. The older man towered over him as he gently dabbed at his face, wiping tears and snot from his face. “Beautiful, ain’t she?” he finally asked Aegis. 

“Yeah…” 

“Let’s get really fucking high and watch this masterpiece.”

Aegis felt like a teenager again instead of a beat-down, white-collar worker in a dead-end office job, stoned off his ass in Vicious’s lap as they watched Megasaurus chase down a long limousine around the arena. When he drank out of their one large, shared Baja Blast, he knew it wouldn’t be their baja last as he clung to Vicious’s chest, ready to make out right as the nightly kiss-cam made its rounds.

And they said love wasn’t dead. 


End file.
